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Whether or not you believe this to be literally true, it’s hard to deny that the people in our lives impact us strongly, and affect the way we view things for years or decades. Yogic teachings say that a woman’s aura and arcline can carry the imprint of past lovers long after they have left her life. I would especially recommend yoga, but you could also run, dance, swim, or anything else that you enjoy.Ĭlearing the past. Then your mind will be able to work with the sensations you are feeling to make the experience even more pleasurable. Taking part in activities that help to strengthen your connection to your body can be very helpful in strengthening your connection to your body. If you are too much “in your head” you might not be fully present in your body, and able to enjoy the physical sensations of intercourse. But it can also hinder your sexual experience. As mentioned above, the mind plays a huge role in women’s sexual experience. Guru Rattana’s book Transitions to a Heart Centered Worldhas a number of wonderful kriyas and meditations to help relax the body and open the heart. And maintaining a regular meditation practice, even just a few minutes a day, can help to keep your mind relaxed and at peace. Restorative yoga postures are wonderful for relaxing the body and soothing the mind. It might take the form of journaling while in a hot bubble bath, or asking your partner to rub your back while you talk about your day, or requesting extra help with household duties so that you share a more equal load. If you are frequently tired and stressed, it will be more difficult to experience orgasm, or arousal in general. For women, the mind plays a much more vital role in the process. For men, orgasm is almost entirely a physical response to sexual stimulation. Try writing things down if saying them out loud is difficult. Make a vow to yourself that you will speak truthfully. Try the “Naad Meditation to Communicate Your Honest Self” in the I Am A Woman yoga manual, or do some chanting to help open up your throat chakra. If you find it difficult to tell your partner what you like and don’t like, you might consider some exercises and practices to improve your communication. Whatever the reason, an inability to communicate effectively affects all areas of life. You might just be shy by nature, and feel nervous when you are called upon to speak your truth. Or maybe you spent time around very dominant and outspoken people, never allowing you to get a word in edgewise. Perhaps as a child you absorbed the idea that women should be “nice” and not make a fuss. There are many reasons why this could be the case.
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Women frequently find it difficult to communicate their wants, needs, and desires. A licensed therapist can be very helpful in this regard.Ĭommunication. Reflect on your life, your previous sexual experiences and relationships, the things you’ve learned about sex, and see how the pieces of the puzzle come together to inform your current sex life. Svadhyaya (or self-knowledge) is one of the niyamas taught by Patanjali, after all. First off, it’s helpful to understand what might be going on that is preventing you from orgasming regularly, or at all. So how can you use the teachings of yoga for sex positively? While this is certainly a wonderful goal, some women have such difficulty achieving orgasm that this can create a feeling of pressure to “perform.” If women feel pressure or frustration, it can make the ability to orgasm more difficult to achieve. If a man has an orgasm before the woman, Yogi Bhajan instructed that the man should then ensure that the woman has several orgasms. Yogi Bhajan recommended that a man should bring his partner to orgasm before he allows himself to orgasm, and taught men ways to extend their sexual stamina in order to achieve this. Yoga is often touted as a great way to improve your sex life, and Kundalini yoga has a wealth of teachings about sex to draw from. Whatever the numbers, many women will find themselves asking the question “Why can’t I orgasm?” at some point in their lives.
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Some experts say that 10% of all women have never experienced orgasm at all. Statistics vary somewhat – some say that only 25% of women can achieve orgasm through intercourse alone. Yet for many women, orgasm is also elusive.
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It’s a wonderful thing, and a part of what makes sex fun.